vampireapologist:

idk if I’ve posted about this before but by far the strangest things that’s happened to me in retail was the time someone’s total came out to my birth-year and I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and then the next customer’s total came out to like $12.57 and just bc I’m a weirdo I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and without missing a fucking beat this like, 70+ year old man said

“Ah! Another like me! We’re few and far between these days, aren’t we?”

And I was like oh man this guy’s sense of humor really aligns with mine! And I laughed and made some other joke about being immortal and thought that was the end of it,

but this man.

He stood by the register for five more minutes. Maybe more. Which let me tell you is an EXCRUTIATING amount of time for something like this to happen.

And he just kept upping the ante!! He starting talking about some REALLY specific details regarding day-to-day life in the 1300s to the point I started getting worried that I’d misled a genuinely immortal being to believe I am also immortal.

He eventually politely left when I got too busy with other customers to awkwardly respond.

Who the fuck was that guy.

someone: plays the "bees?" card
literally everyone in the game: BEES?

olimar:

i joined a quickplay game and a dude playing as junkrat with hayseed’s skin goes “is anyone else drinkin water right now” and i went “i’m drinkin coke” and he goes “what kinda coke, coke zero, diet coke, what” and i went “just coke” and he goes “a classic… an original… i can dig it. let’s hold down this point bitches”

knitmeapony:

Kids.  Teenagers.  As someone staring 40 in the face lemme tell you a thing.

You are going to be horrified and embarrassed at some point by the shit you are doing now.

And you are going to wish with all your might you’d done more of it.  

You’re gonna wish you had more selfies, more photos, more videos being dumb with your friends.  You’re going to wish you’d had your hair even higher or your shoes even sparklier.  

Go.  Document the shit out of your ridiculous life.  Fuck trends but if you wanna be trendy, go all in.  Fuck in-groups and subcultures but if one sings to you, do it all.  Be exactly as cool or punk rock or goth or fandom or country or hardcore or hip hop or whatever, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Just don’t hurt people.  That’s the only thing you’ll ever genuinely live to regret.

pochowek:

oddbagel:

pochowek:

every single todays cartoons art style could be pinpointed on a binary scale between “tries to look like adventure time” and ‘tries to look like family guy”

Then explain Gumball.

Gumball isnt a cartoon its an experience

lukesdane:

me: *is anxious about not having a job*

me: *is anxious about having a job*

me: cool